Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High 谈判的关键 chm umd 阿里云 下载 夸克云 pdf azw3 kindle

Mainly about resolving conflicts and influencing people, this useful guide covers every conceivable aspect of talking with others. People hear facts and stories and turn them into shared knowledge when they're not attacked or overpowered--in other words, when they feel safe. No mushy mental health lesson, the program does a stellar job of explaining many types of communication errors and describing the best ways to achieve mutual purpose. The authors have exceptional ideas about moving toward healthy solutions in a variety of business and personal realms. Anna Fields gives a perfect reading--emotionally bright but still allowing the lesson to retain its practical, straight-talking nature.

Foreword XI

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS XV

CH.1:What's a Crucial Conversation?

　And Who Cares?

CH.2:Mastering Crucial Conversations

　The Power of Dialogue

CH.3:Start with Heart

How to Stay Focused on What You Really Want

CH.4:Learn to Look

How to Notice When Safety Is at Risk

CH.5:Make It Safe

How to Make It Safe to Talk about Almost Anything

CH.6:Master My Stories

How to Stay in Dialogue When You're Angry,Scared,or Hurt

CH.7:STATE My Path

How to Speak Persuasively, Not Abrasively

CH.8:Explore Others’ Paths

How to Listen When Others Blow Up or Clam Up

CH.9:Move to Action

How to Turn Crucial Conversations into Action and Results

CH.10:Putting It All Together

Tools for Preparing and Learning

CH.11 Yeah,But

Advice for Tough Cases

CH.12 Change Your Life

How to Turn Ideas into Habits

ENDNOTES

INDEX

Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny,Ron McMillan, and Al Swizzle are founders of Vital Smarts and leading authorities in organizational effectiveness and leadership whose worldwide clients include 300 of the fortune 500.

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一，

“关键对话”的严格定义：有分歧、事关重大、情绪激动。这类对话不仅有意义，而且难以控制结果，因此就有了研究的价值。

常见例子：给老板提意见，让朋友还钱，教导叛逆少年，让配偶的父母不干涉生活。

二，

对话的要点：信息和观点的自由交流。

让谈话各方拥有共享的、同一的信息库。

三，

1，专注于你要的结果。及时发现偏离目标。

问自己，目标是什么。明确自己想做什么。问自己为了这个目标要怎么做。

2，考虑目标时，不要陷入非A即B的陷阱。

寻找A与B共存的局面。

把想要的和不想要的进行整合，再开始交谈。

四，

观察是否处于安全情境：

1，关注谈话内容和大家的立场情绪

2，观察别人是否转入沉默或暴力

3，观察自己在压力下的反应

五，

创造安全谈话的氛围：

1，当谈话专为沉默或暴力时，走出谈话。然后再返回。

2，安全谈话的两个条件：共同目标、互相尊重

3，重建安全谈话：当你破坏了互相尊重时道歉、当对方有误解或敌意时对比法、寻找共同目标并建立该目标下的行动。

六，

困境中使自己保持良好对话

1，沉默或暴力时跳出思考

2，注意自己的行为和情绪以及产生的原因

七，

STATE方法使陈述更有说服力

1，分享你的事实：从最没有争议的部分开始

2，讲述你的故事：解释你得到了什么结论

3，询问别人的行为产生途径：鼓励别人说出他们的事实和故事

4，常识性交谈：把你的故事说成故事，不要伪装成事实

5，鼓励测试：用使别人感到安全的方式表达不同甚至相反观点

八，

困境中让别人进入良好对话

1，询问（ask），映射（miror），复述（paraphrase），抛砖引玉（prime）

2，同意（agree），补充（build），比较（compare）（陈述不同）

九，

关键对话后形成决定和后续行动。

谁、做什么、什么时候、如何监督和跟进。

十，

综合应用关键对话技巧

1，两个杠杆：学会观察、建...

进行有效交流。经过无数代人遗传下来的基因影响，每当面对关键对话时我们便会下意识地采取人类面对危险时最原始的应对方式——暴力对抗或转身而逃，而不是采用机智的说服和友善的关注来解决问题。

瞧，这就是我们在面对关键对话时的真实状态——棘手的问题、不依不饶的对手、高度缺血的大脑和无法正常工作的思维。这就是为什么我们平素表现得正常得体，可面对关键对话时却会变成十足的白痴。

由于头脑中没有一个正确的模式，你肯定会困惑不解，到底该怎么做呢？和大家一样，你会采取临场发挥的办法来应对问题。你会抓住对方的言论，形成某种情绪，然后在此基础上决定下一步该怎么行动——当然，这一切都是在你那严重缺血的大脑中完成的。

对话指两人或多人之间观点的自由交流。

在和对方展开对话时，我们每个人都会带有个人观点、感受、猜测以及和对话内容相关的生活体验。这种思想和感受的独特组合会构成完全自我的观点库，它不但能让我们形成对问题的看法，而且能驱使我们的每一个动作。

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Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People A PAPERBACK ORIGINAL "Most books make promises. This one delivers. These skills have not only helped us to change the culture of our company, but have also generated new techniques for working together in ways that enabled us to win the largest contract in our industry's history." --Dain M. Hancock, President, Lockheed Martin Aeronautics A powerful, seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' highly popular DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a powerful six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any highimpact situation with confidence.